Funny you should ask that, because this is just a rough draft for an essay, but it's about how Brett Favre is my dad.
Brett Favre is someone you may or may not have heard of. Brett Favre liked to do 2 or 3 power hours before every Packers game. Brett Favre won a lot of games doing that, except for a year or two when he started doing them with Corona. Brett Favre threw the most interceptions those years.
Brett Favre often goes to the park with me and throws the football around with the dog. Brett Favre lets me play catch too if he's feeling generous and he isn't blacked out to the point that he forgets that I'm his son. Brett Favre also likes to barbecue horse hinds and pigs feet for family gatherings. Brett Favre tells a lot of jokes at these events, most of them about how cool a guy Brett Favre is which he is because he's my dad.
Brett Favre.
Brett Favre abused me as a child. Brett Favre would make me dress up like a cowboy and he'd whip me on my rump while making me sing the Brett Favre theme song which goes like this: Brett Favre! Brett Favre! Brett Favre! Brett Favre! Brett Favre! Breeeeeeeeeeeeeeet...Faaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa aa aaaaaaaaaaaaaaavre.
Brett Favre makes great spaghetti. Brett Favre makes it before every game. Brett Favre then beat his wife while she made the spaghetti which exposes the lie that Brett Favre made spaghetti before every game. Brett Favre also beats his daughter because she is not as pretty as him. Brett Favre hates her for her inability to grow gray hair yet. Brett Favre hates everyone who isn't Brett Favre because nobody can pull off Brett Favre as well as Brett Favre can.
Brett Favre hates Kanye West and by extension all black people. Brett Favre named all 27 of his children Brett Favre and also his wife. Brett Favre adopts small Asian children so he can feed them to his dog to justify revenge for all the dog species on Asians. Brett Favre is level sixty
one
Brett Favre once flew to the end of the world with Muhammad and the Bee. Brett Favre declared today to be Brett Favre Day and you're a douchebag in his mind for not wearing his jersey as you read this (BTW everyday is Brett Favre day). Brett Favre ultimately decides if you go to heaven or hell, so chances are 100% you're going to hell.
Brett Favre.
Criticism? Of course not because this essay is about Brett Favre.
